Stressed Out as Unschoolers

Are you Stressed Out??

Let's do something about it!

Podcast Transcript

Pressure.
We face it all the time - from others, from ourselves. And when we're tired or we're not getting our own needs met, our stress level rises and it can start to feel overwhelming.

No one can really tell us EXACTLY how to unschool - there’s no formula to apply.
And for many of us, that can amp up our stress level.

Maybe you’re just starting the journey, and you’re not sure what to do - that will raise your stress level, for sure.
Maybe you’ve been at this for a while but it’s not playing out the way you hoped. Another reason to feel stressed or even burnt out.
We’re constantly taking in information, weighing out what might be right for our family, unpacking all of our preconceived (MISTAKEN) ideas - constantly adjusting.
All while keeping everyone fed and clothed and dealing with all our day-to-day stuff.

But this is an unschooling pep talk, right?
If you’re starting to sink into some negative area, some dark spot, I want to help you!

I’ve seen 9 different scenarios that can be responsible for your stress. Let’s identify them and get you some help. Because one thing I know about you - is that you want to be the best parent you an be for your kids.
And when we’re stressed out, that’s not possible. But it IS fixable.
That’s why I want to talk about this with you today.

If we haven’t met, I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. I started on our homeschooling journey 25 years ago with my own kids, and now I’m here to share what I’ve learned along the way. I have all kinds of resources to help you - because everyone learns a little differently - including parents! Maybe you would do best with a course about unschooling, or surround yourself with other parents on this unschooling journey in a private membership. Maybe you like PDFs or books, and you’d like to read about various issues when you can find the time! Or maybe you just want to hop on the phone with me and I can help you figure out what your options are. All of it is available here at the website. I always tell people,

Knowledge + Support (and a little Action on your part)

is what’s needed for Unschooling Success!

So this week we’re talking about feeling stressed out - or even burnt out on all of this.
I have solutions for 9 different possible sources of your stress. You may actually discover you are stressing for more than one reason. Let’s look at them… because identifying the problem is the first step to getting to the other side. You can always go to the website and grab the Unschooling Guide called Stressed Out. I’ll put the link in the show notes. It has way more resources on each of these scenarios I’m going to share with you here.
You may actually discover you are stressing for more than one reason. Let’s look at them… because identifying the problem is the first step to getting to the other side.

Stressor #1
Managing Fears that you’re not doing enough.

The short answer to this is that you probably need to spend some time deschooling.
Often, we breeze through that kind of quickly. Maybe our child didn’t go to school or didn’t go that long, and we spend a few weeks reading a little about it. But it’s going to take more than that. We’ve had a lot of conditioning to tell us that learning has to look a certain way - and it’s not true. I have a few podcasts about deschooling, some unschooling guides - and lots at the website if you’re ready to look at this again.
Remember, shining light on these issues means taking some action. Doing the work you need to do, so fear stops getting in the way.

Deschooling Resources 
Unschooling Guide: Deschooling
365 Days of Deschooling

Stressor #2
Coping with Critics

Do you have people in your lives that connect anything going wrong to the fact that you’re homeschooling or specifically unschooling? At the first bump in the road, they tell you to put them back in school or duplicate school at home. Or maybe they’re not even waiting for a bump in the road, they’re just dropping all kinds of little comments about not liking your choice.

OR… maybe you hear those comments in your head, without anyone saying anything? We can be our own worst critic, right?

There IS a Naysayer video over at the Unschooling Mom2Mom YouTube channel, if you want to go watch that.
Or maybe you need more unschoolers in your life! Joining my membership - even for just a couple of months - may help you reframe some of this criticism and lower your stress level.

Naysayer Video at YouTube
Creating Confidence Membership
Unschooling Guide: Critics and Naysayers

Stressor #3
Generalized overwhelm.

Maybe you’re getting tired of meeting everyone else’s needs - and your wondering when it’s YOUR turn?
The quick answer here is that you’re the only one who’s going to prioritize your needs. Figuring out how to do that - with all the pressure to be a great parent or do do do for everyone else - it’s one of the most important life skills for YOU to learn. I have a lot of information about Self-Care in the membership, but also at Pinterest and at the blog. I’ll put links in the shownotes - but also the email newsletter that will go out tomorrow. Are you subscribed to that?

Blog: What about "Me Time?"
UM2M Pinterest: Self Care

Stressor #4
"Is This the Fun Part??"

Maybe their idea of fun isn’t lining up well with your own idea of “something fun”
We may need to brainstorm with the family about how to get everyone’s needs met. Remembering that they’re not Mini-Me’s or little clones that we see people talk about online. They have their own personalities and interests and preferences - and through unschooling, we’re allowing them to express themselves in ways they maybe haven’t before. Opening communication about it all - in healthy ways - may be what you need to do to tackle this stressor.

Unschooling Guide: Brainstorm Time!

Stressor #5
Expectations Not Happening

Maybe you had a story in your head about what this unschooling life was going to look like -and it’s becoming clearer and clearer that that story isn’t going to pan out.
Stories in our head of what things are SUPPOSED to look like can really get in the way of enjoying the reality of today. Learning to let go of these kinds of expectations - of ourselves, or our kids, of our family life - breaking them down will help us see why we’re holding on to these. It's keeping our own stress levels really high when we don’t want to look at dismantling these stories that don't really fit.

Join the Membership Group - You're NOT Alone!

Stressor #6
"I'm not cut out to do this, maybe!"

Maybe you’re thinking you’re not "unschooling correctly"… air quotes.
Or you’re thinking you're just not “good enough” at this.

That can make you more stressed. You like the idea of unschooling, but you’re feeling like it’s not working.
Or maybe you’ve been unschooling for a while, but feeling kind of burnt out. That can make you question all kinds of things!

I have 2 quick answers for this:

1. Stop the Comparison Game.
2. Look at whether you need to connect more with the kids. Sometimes the way we used to connect changes, and we feel a little adrift. See if that’s going on for you and increasing your stress.
3. 
   

Read this: Resist the Urge to Compare

While this is mainly written to help parents when comparing where their kids should be academically, look at it also from your own attachment to comparison and what negatives come from that.

Am I Doing Enough Podcast