Typical Unschooling Day
Revised: January 2024
Unschooling, by it's very nature is unique to each family and even unique to each child in the family.
But when you’re new, or if things aren’t going well, it’s not uncommon to hear from parents want someone to describe a typical unschooling day.
We could ask the unschooling community (FB group or on Instagram) to share their examples. But no one is really "typical."
Sometimes people suggest that an unschooling day is like a day in the summer - filled with potential for daydreams, explorations, and discovery. Or a Saturday morning filled with the hustle and bustle of everyone being together.
Your home may have both... some days calmer, other days busy.
Unschooling parents are tuning into their kids so they're aware of what kinds of opportunities might peak their interest.
You would be more of a tour guide or resource finder - someone who’s going to walk WITH them as they learn how to navigate life.
When you choose to unschool, so many pressures can fall away. Parents and children are
free to be curious about all kinds of things that cross their paths on a daily basis. Because you’re not busy checking the boxes or getting the curriculum done first.
This might be one of the biggest reasons that it's hard to produce a "typical day" on demand. But it’s also one of the most wonderful things about choosing this approach. That’s what freedom feels like..
Individualizing.
Unschoolers take the idea of individualizing seriously.
Sure, there can be IEPs or parents who give their kids a couple of options after they’ve done what’s required
... but the individualizing that happens in unschooling families is Next Level.
It’s not lip service.
It does mean, though, that your home/life isn’t going to look like anyone else’s.
This is foreign to us after years of school where we were conditioned to know our “worth” based upon
comparison and competition. It’s unfamiliar, but it will get easier as you begin to focus on the INDIVIDUALIZED needs in your family.
What IS Typical…
Perhaps what's "typical" about unschoolers and their days is the parents' attitude about life and learning, prioritizing connection with their kids over academics or "supposed to's. Our focus is to add something to our child's day that might make their eyes sparkle. Something that connects and brings joy.
Your Days…
Your day can be busy or relaxed - whatever the family members need. Even if something was “on the calendar”... does it HAVE to happen? If it does, maybe it can be paired with something fun. If it doesn’t, maybe it can move to another day when more people are in the mood!
Out and About…
Keep an eye out on
what’s happening in your community. Sometimes this changes seasonally. Maybe you need to hit all the Tourist-y things to see what’s out there this month.
Digging deeper…
Sometimes asking about typical days may mean we need to dive a little deeper into deschooling. Are you still thinking in school terms/subjects? Or maybe you’re not trusting that all humans are hard-wired to learn? Most of us weren’t raised to think like that - but it’s true! And we may need a little help to dismantle some of those preconceived ideas about learning, children, and even parenting!
Why prioritize connection?
Since you're not nagging the kids about completing lesson plans, unschooling parents have more time to connect with each of their children.
This is where the magic happens!
When kids feel heard, they connect more with parents. That's how you'll know what your next steps should be!
Ready for my 3 Secrets to Success?
- Tune into your child’s interests and curiosities. Not to turn them into lesson plans or extensive unit studies! But to explore with them and see what they need from you as their Best Resource Finder. “Tuning In” can be tricky because we subconsciously (and maybe not so SUB) want to run the show a bit. Share our wisdom and guidance, right? But so often, their little budding interest can be bulldozed by our enthusiasm and glee at feeling *needed.* More about that in #3. Give them time to dabble. Let them mess around with the topic without having to master it ASAP! It may be a fleeting idea that is leading them to the one they REALLY want to know more about! That’s why we can’t get in there and steer it all. We cant see what their brain is working toward. We have to be gentle with all that “help” we want to offer!
2. Embrace the Flexibility.being able to pivot as needed - whether it’s weather or you don’t have the bandwidth after some big push (like holidays or relatives “helpful advice” or whatever you’re just coming back from… or maybe kids just waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Paying attention to to these factors will have a HUGE impact on whether or not your day goes well. Don’t bulldoze through just to feel good about checking the boxes. This flexibility that is YOURS for the taking,,, is what leads you to truly individualizing the learning, the parenting - the LIFE you and your kids deserve.
3. Continue the Internal Work. This, too, will be so individualized, I can’t give you the specific How-To. But I can encourage you look at your intentions. See where Fear is sneaking in with
“because that’s what ‘good’ moms and dads do,” or
“I want them to live up to their potential!”
We’ve had a lot of conditioning about what’s expected- of us and of our kids. And sometimes we have stories in our heads that we haven’t dismantled yet. It’s not uncommon to not not even be able to SEE some of our underlying issues when we start. But with time - and with living the unschooling life - we begin to see how kids ARE hard-wired to learn. We start to see how trusting that process creates stronger relationships, which make us more connected and that leads us to helping our kids find opportunities that really fit them, where they are.
You don't have to do this alone!
One of the best ways to get more help from me is to
join my membership group. If you’re like me - and so many other parents, you need some support as you step away from what everyone else around you is doing. You don’t have to abandon your friends and family, but it really helps to add in a circle of unschooling parents who get it. We meet a couple times a week to ask questions, share what’s going on, get help - all the things that are going to help YOU be successful at this.
And nope, none of our days look like anyone else’s. Certainly nothing about it is TYPICAL.
But as you do this more, learn more, build your own confidence, you’ll create something that fits your family perfectly! I’d love to help you do that.
Watch the Video/Webinar:
Unschooling Typical Days
I want to be sure you know about the free PDF I made for that. You can have it too!
It will help you create your OWN “Typical” Day. Here are the links to both - so you can start the year off with a little more help on this.
All you have to do is reach out!
Happy Unschooling. And Happy New Year!
September 2019
Do you wonder if you're doing enough?
Do you wonder what other unschoolers' days look like?
Is there even such a thing as "typical?"
This is one of the most common questions people who are just starting out ask - and the hardest to answer.
Every unschooling family's day looks different - different locations with variable access to community activities as well as different personalities with unique interests and preferences.
What was the pattern or the rhythm six months ago can be vastly different from what we're experiencing today, right?
When we start to break away from the One-Size-Fits-All model of schools, and we hop off that conveyor belt of everyone's day looking the same, the whole world opens up to us. That can be a little scary if we still need some work on our unschooling foundation - but it can be so exciting as well! We learn that we can find our own rhythms without needing to duplicate someone else's!
Sometimes we start out with so little confidence that we need to see others happily living and learning side-by-side with the kids, without lesson plans or quizzes or teacher-driven approaches. Somehow that makes us a little braver...
"If they can do it, why can't I ?"
There's the truth - you can!
Your days may have some similarities with some people - and be totally different from others. And then when the seasons change, your kids mature a little, and your own parenting becomes more intentional and deliberate - you'll see changes yet again! That's part of the flexibility of meeting the kids where they are TODAY!
If you'd like to dive deeper into why we keep asking ourselves this question,
what we may need to focus on,
and how we can really explore this topic
- that's what this Unschooling Guide is all about
