Teen Years – Is it too late to Unschool?

Updated 10/13/25 

So many kids are struggling with school right now.
For some, it’s the bullying. For others, it’s the constant pressure to perform, the over-emphasis on testing, the sleep deprivation — the list goes on.

And they’re miserable.
They’re bored, stressed, anxious, and they’ve started to believe this is just life — like death and taxes.

The parents are exhausted too.
You’ve tried to make school work. You’ve fought over homework, begged teachers for help, tried to motivate them, tried to keep peace at home.

But somewhere along the way, home started to feel like a battleground.

You can probably still picture that little kid who used to love learning.
Curious. Creative. Full of energy.
And now... he’s gone quiet.

What happened??? Where did that little guy go?

He went to school.

That inner motivation — the spark — got replaced with gold stars, grades, and comparison.
He learned to push aside what he cared about in order to “do the work.”

And eventually, the resistance showed up.
Because deep down, he knew something wasn’t right.
He knew that learning shouldn’t feel like this.

But every adult around him said, “Just push through.”

So he stopped trying.

And we — the parents — got scared.
We want them to succeed, to be okay. So we side with the system, hoping the experts know what they’re doing.

We’ve been told forever: Stay in school. It’s the only path to success.
But what if that’s not true?

You CAN turn this around – no matter how old our teenager is!

Wouldn't it be nice to stop fighting and start rebuilding your relationship?

Wouldn't you like to help them figure out how to transition into adulthood smoothly?

What if this choice to unschool didn't close doors or prevent opportunities?

We can get off this crazy merry-go-round and create a different life for our teenagers. We can stop with all the rhetoric that we've been fed about how kids need to be pushed and how they need structure and that this parent/teen power struggle is inevitable.

Scary? Yes. Possible? Absolutely.

Let's Quiet Those Fears Down a bit...

Getting into college

Unschoolers get into college all the time. Many start early with community college classes – sometimes taking classes for fun, sometimes taking subjects that will transfer to a university. Dual enrollment (when you take a class that “counts” for high school credit and gives you college credit) is available to unschooled teens at most community colleges.

Teens often bypass the SAT/ACT tests because after accumulating a certain number of community college courses, they can simply apply to universities as a transfer student. Their community college transcript demonstrates that they're fully prepared.

All the Subjects

Let's be realistic. Every child does not need every subject at the same time, in the same depth, as every other child. What happened to the value of an individualized approach? As adults, some of us use topics/subjects more than others in our day-to-day life. Some of those subjects never come up again for us once we left the school settings. So why force feed it all to them? How much do we really think they'll remember anyway?

Schools operate as if they have to cram everything in before graduation. I guess that's a framework they've set up and have to work within. But learning does not stop at age 18. We are fully capable of googling when the Battle of Hastings happened should we need that tidbit of knowledge when we're 28 or 48 or 68! Most of us have started YouTubing everything now anyway. Our kids will do that too whenever they want to know something.

Unschooling allows kids to explore the world around them. And truth be told, most of those subjects are all around us all the time. No, it's not all neatly partitioned off like it is in school. Real life weaves all kinds of topics in and out. Don't we want to prepare our kids for real life?

Parent/Teen Relationships

One of the biggest benefits of unschooling is that you get to drop being the Enforcer of all things school-related. You get to shift to really advocating for your teen. You get to help them see the world around them and how they fit in.

And when you do this, something wonderful happens. Your teen sees that they matter to you more than school matters to you. They get to feel what it's like to be prioritized by their parents. Feeling like someone is actually listening to them makes so much of a difference in the relationship. Isn't that what all of us want anyway – to be heard?

Unschooled teens are growing up and living successful lives – without all the baggage that comes with a childhood filled with school. We have all kinds of examples of young adults – grown unschoolers – who are getting into college, pursuing careers they actually enjoy, traveling, starting families. All it takes is for parents to overcome their fears and create new partnerships with their teenagers.

It's so do-able! Let this be the year that your family makes the changes you've been wishing for!