Don’t Do It!
Podcast Transcript
Each year, about this time, I get a little twinge that lasts about a month or so - especially when I walk into a grocery store or Target or any other place that has those Back-to-School shopping aisles.
I know that some families are excited to be getting all their stuff together for the new year. And school works for them.
And I also overhear some moms loudly announcing,
“Only four more days...”
with their kids in earshot, envisioning their relaxing lunch dates and calmer afternoons before the kids get home. The kids don’t usually seem that happy about their moms’ glee at getting rid of them... but that’s probably...for another podcast, right?
A quick glance at some of the kids there in the shopping aisle - and we’ll see they’re looking pretty sad about summer ending. They’re not all that thrilled about returning to school. A few of those moms don’t look that happy about it either - but they’re dutifully checking off items on their supply lists, and trying to comfort their kids.
These are the moms I want to lean over to and say,
“Don’t do it.”
I know the reactions that would get. The raised eyebrows.
The defensive posturing from moms who overhear but were counting down the days to ship the kids off.
But something is tugging at some of these other moms who simply don’t know they have choices. They’d like to maybe explore something else for their child. They are parents who see how quickly the days pass and they want more time with their sons and daughters - not less. These parents see their own family as the most important unit, and not their child’s homeroom teacher and class.
Maybe this sounds like you or someone you know.
For those of you already unschooling, listening to this podcast, do you feel that urge to toss a lifeline to these parents and say,
“Don’t do it.”
For years, these mothers - all of us really - have been conditioned to stop questioning the status quo, get back in line and ignore our guts about keeping the kids home, and trust The System.
I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.
I bring little unschooling pep talks to you - short, usually under 10 minutes or so - information to help you see that Unschooling works. I’ve been creating resources to help families for 25+ years - and I can help you too.
We all learn differently, so I want you to find what works best for you.
Knowledge + Support is what leads you to unschooling success - and I offer both.
This week, we’re talking about that Back-to-School season...and my urge to whisper to people that they don’t have to send the kids off to school.
I know... there’s resistance.
For a lot of people, they quickly rationalize that sending them to school is The Right Thing To Do.
All of the pro-school marketing comes flooding back into their heads.
Sometimes they counter with:
“But they’ll have fun at school.”
If this is something that popped into your head, have you forgotten the boredom? The frustration with canceled field trips (only 2-3 were scheduled each year)? The staring at the clock waiting for the bell to ring? Sure, you can probably remember some fun times. But were there really that many? As compared to when you were out of school in the afternoons or in the summer?
Or they think,
“They learn so much in school!”
That’s not even true compared to the thousands of hours they actually spend there, over a child’s lifetime. Studies show that children really only receive about 75 minutes of instruction time per day – that’s not even an hour and a half! With so much time shuffling to classrooms, waiting for class to settle down, bureaucracy and busywork, collecting and passing out paperwork, going to assemblies, lunch, recess, not to mention that the instruction is aimed at the center of the bell curve and is obsessed with test prep, it’s pretty clear that not a lot of learning is happening.
Others argue,
“They love being with their friends.”
They might – but not AT school. They have only three minutes to get from class to class, and a brief lunch period to hang out together IF they are lucky enough to have the same lunch periods with their friends. And, really, how many other kids did you hang out with after school? My school day was spent making plans for how we would eventually get together in off-school hours or weekends. But it wasn’t that fun hanging out with them during class time. Just because your desk is next to someone, doesn’t mean you have any shared interests - just shared birth years, or shared first-letter-of-their-last -name.
And what about the bullying so many kids have to endure? They end up creating all kinds of maladaptive coping mechanisms. They learn that no one will rescue them and they’re forced to be in these situations for most of their waking hours.
Maybe the worry is:
"But I couldn’t homeschool – I’m not a teacher!"
It’s not necessary! Most of the education they received in school to become teachers has to be shelved because of the way the system is set up. Even if teachers are good, most of their time is spent on crowd control and test prep and creating lesson plans for the entire class. It isn’t individualized the way you could with your own child. And that’s going to be even worse with the teacher shortage that’s happening now!
Still I want to tell them,
“Don’t do it.”
And if they didn’t roll their eyes and push their shopping cart away from me, I would add a few more things.
- Life is short. Spend as many hours with your kids as possible. As I look back at the years my kids were living at home – it really did fly by!
- Make Life an Adventure. Real life waits outside those school doors. Parents can have the incredible opportunity to become tour guides joining the kids on these explorations and discoveries, learning alongside them.
- Learning is everywhere. Learning happens everyday all the time. It doesn’t have to divided up and parceled out in boring, dull, disconnected ways. When you relax and start to look for it - you’ll see it hidden all throughout your kids’ day.
- You’re not alone. Hundreds of thousands of kids are homeschooling and even unschooling. They are all discovering that schools do not have a corner on that market of learning. They are living in a way that allows them to pursue their interests, practice personal responsibility, learn on their own or in groups, make friends, and create entire communities out in the real world.
- Resources abound! I have all kinds of ways to get you some support and information. You don’t have to do this alone - I’m right here rooting you on, walking along beside you, holding your hand.
So, if you’re wondering if some option exists that could work for your family…or you have that uneasy feeling that you’re trying to ignore, maybe it’s time to make a change.
If you’re hesitating about whether or not to send your kid off to school,
imagine me, leaning over, whispering to you:
“Don’t do it.”
Read more blogposts about NOT Going Back to School
Get THIS Guide!
The Unschooling Guide: NOT Back to School is awesome!
Years of information is piled in here for you!
And, yes, even worksheets!
(For YOU not for the kids though!)
You'll find an entire mini-course wrapped up into one $15 PDF.
That leaves a lot of money to spend on experiences for your family!
Here are some of the things you'll find in this Guide:
- Ways to make your home more "unschooly"
- Suggestions for new traditions to create every August
- Dealing with critics at this time of year
- Articles that support this decision to not do school
- A little self-examination to help you deal with your fears
- 12 Reasons Unschooling is a GREAT IDEA!
- Ideas for what to do INSTEAD of school!
- Collection of kids' books that never mention school
- Ideas to create an Action Plan to help you
- 27 full-color pages of inspiration and encouragement
