Celebrating NOT Back-to-School

Sue Patterson

2022 NBTS  Webinar Recording

A NOT Back-to-School Party!


Some neighborhoods have been sending their kids back to school since mid-August. A few are more old-school, waiting for Labor Day to pass. But by now, most have made their decisions and either sent them along with the masses, or have opted to keep the kids home.

So every year - since the mid-nineties - I've been celebrating NOT sending the kids off to school. And this year, I hosted a Webinar for a couple of hundred people looking for a little inspiration and encouragement. Here's the gist of it:


I think it's really helpful to celebrate TOGETHER - even if it has to be online. It's good to see that there IS a community around you. Maybe it’s not closeby - but maybe it is. Sometimes the problem is that we don't know where to look. 


So many people are feeling isolated. A lot of ways exist to connect you with other unschoolers - like this! I like doing webinars like this every now and then because it helps you see that there IS a community around you. Maybe it’s not closeby - but maybe it is!


Find Local Groups

This link will take you to a page where you can find groups in your area - but it also includes a place to have a group listed that I may not know about! Be sure to share the contact information.


We talked briefly about maybe considering starting a group yourself. Keep on the lookout in the Unschooling Updates (my free email "updates), because I may be hosting a workshop soon to help those of you interested in doing this! It doesn't have to be hard at all! Here's podcast about creating the community you'd like to participate in. 

Most of the world has their kids in school by now. And we’ve decided it’s not a good fit for OUR kids.
And truth is, the reasons are so varied. We have so many DIFFERENT reasons people might  decide school isn’t going to work for their family.


Why Do This?


In the webinar, parents shared their top reasons to choose unschooling. And even those who haven't decided about unschooling - yet - or not sure - they shared why they said, “No thanks” to the school approach.

  • As older parents, we want to spend TIME with our son! Goes by fast.
  • We unschooled because it was the path of least resistance.
  • Time to be our own
  • School is inflexible and seems increasingly dangerous, that's why I am thinking of home schooling
  • I sat in my son's TK class and it was just so structured kids didn't have an opportunity to play/learn.
  • Learn what we want to learn. Go where we want to go, when we want to go!
  • Watching 4 year olds doing active shooter drills is really tragic.
  • The state of schools in Pakistan is dismal. the oppressive frameworks just didn't sit well with me.


Sue Patterson Coaching

If we haven’t met, I’m Sue Patterson from Unschooling Mom2Mom. I’ve been around a while. 


My kids are grown now… off doing their own young adult things… buying homes, starting businesses, raising families. And they got into college or other trade schools they wanted - no doors were closed because of taking this unconventional approach to learning. AND they had great childhoods. Yours will look different from mine - but you can be just as successful with it. 


It takes gathering good information and getting the support you need. Because we all learn differently. Parents too! Some of us like to gather Guides and books, reading articles and blogposts. Others like to listen or watch videos. Others do better with course-type formats. And lots - like me - do best in communities of other parents find their way through all of this. Because I HAVE been doing this for over 25 years, I’ve had time to create a little something for everyone. You can find it all here at the website. 

NOT Back-to-School Video Playlist

More Videos at YouTube

Before we get any farther, let’s make sure everyone has a little clarity about the word Unschooling. Even if you haven’t embraced the idea of unschooling… yet… or you’re Almost Unschooling… let’s list  a few of the key points. 


Lots of times I run into people who say, “I didn’t know what we were doing is actually UNSCHOOLING… we were just enjoying life together!” Yep. That’s a lot of it!

Ways Unschoolers are Celebrating Locally

Whether you're gathering with others in your community, or celebrating with your own family, here are some ideas that might inspire you. Think about ways that your child will enjoy. It's all about connecting with them and helping them see that their world is pretty awesome too!

  • Pool parties
  • Potlucks
  • Park days
  • Camping Trips
  • Hitting the road for little day trips
  • Going to the Beach
  • Going to a theme park
  • Going to a movie matinee during the day
  • Movie marathons at home
  • Breakfast in bed
  • Sleeping in
  • Photos in the same spot each year

REASONS to Celebrate!


Summer doesn’t have to end when you’re unschooling. Your family doesn’t have to do some big abrupt change - even though the weather isn’t that much different between last week and this week. You can stay more tuned in with what’s happening with the seasons - living in the Real World instead of the artificial world of the School System.


Shorter lines everywhere! Nows the time to go shopping in those back-to-school aisles! Weekdays can look like ghost towns in some places - but it’s nice to get right in there while everyone else is "otherwise occupied."


Less crowds - especially when we go camping, or to the libraries or museums or beaches.
Now’s the time to go, right?


Cheaper travel in the off-season.  Prices drop in a lot of places once so many families get going with school. Accessing the lower rates is a huge advantage for families with this kind of flexibility.


Back-to-School Sales

Take advantage of all those sales at this time of year. Are your markers getting a little dry? Do you need new paints? OR how about new pillows or ways to make your house a little cozier?  Maybe now’s the time to stock up on sweat pants and cozy socks.


I redid a meme that used to float around a lot. It seems there’s a theme when parents are shopping around. ANyone relate? But seriously… we spent a lot of time in super comfy clothes… whatever way that looked like. It’s your house! Your kids can wear what they want!

Healthier Eating Options. Some people have distinct negative memories of their school cafeteria experience, and unschooled kids get to skip that! I know schools have to move a lot of kids through one cafeteria, but some end up with lunch at 10:30 AM while others may not get to eat until closer to 1PM! When we’re home with them, we don’t have to follow the same set time frame that everyone else does. We can eat when we're hungry and have a lot healthier food choices too! 


Strengthening Curiosity and Creativity was one of the reasons I didn't want my kids to learn in a school setting. We can allow time to explore, instead of responding to bells ringing to shift to other subjects as if we're in a factory! This stop-and-start style ends up creating a habit of staying shallow and not digging deeper into topics. Why bother if the bell is about to ring? That doesn’t happen at your house. Your kids can skip off to another topic whenever they want - not because some external system said, “It’s Time.” And if you’re worried about so much “playtime.” Remember that that’s HOW kids learn - it’s really how all of us learn! As Unschooling parents, we get to tap into that a little more. And figure out why we’re so resistant to it. [Here's a podcast about Playtime, if this is your concern]


Kids can pursue their interests all day! That’s how they’re learning. We may not be able to see it, or check off the boxes, but their brains are working on something all the time. One thing really does lead to another - and we don't have to orchestrate it all!


Flexible schedules are another reason to celebrate! This is another example of how unschooling really celebrates INDIVIDUALITY… we don’t have to do things because other people do. We do it because it works for us. Our calendars can fit our own family - and can shift whenever we need it to!

Sometimes people think unschoolers have no schedules or structure in their days. That’s not true. Life sets up a structure. We just don’t have arbitrary expectations and restraints. The Creating Confidence membership group (filled with unschoolers!) meets on Mondays to look at the schedule for the week. It's a great way to be accountable, but also to be deliberate and intentional about what really matters to you.

Join the Membership Group!

More Time with Your Family - probably the biggest reason to celebrate! More shared experiences lead to more connection. More connection allows you to know what is interesting to them - and what they’ve outgrown. It gives you insight into why they’re making the decisions they’re making. That might make you more compassionate with them. Having more connection allows you to relax a little. You don’t have to try to control everything because you’re getting that panicky feeling that you don't know what’s going on. You do. And, you can see that controlling everything isn’t the answer. 

For those of you who are having trouble with family interactions, maybe you’ve just pulled your kids from school, remember this: School got them when they were at their best, and then handed them back to you when they were worn out. That alone is going to be different now. And as unschoolers, prioritizing the relationship and the connection - it’s what leads to all the good things!

3 Action Steps for You!


I know what you're thinking,

"Great! I'm glad we made this choice! Now what?"


1. Create NEW Traditions


  • Special Brunch with favorite foods
  • Boxes of art supplies waiting for them in the morning at the dining room table
  • Photos in the same spot each year
  • Movie marathon - what would they love to watch with you?
  • Make a list of favorite things to do

I have so many more ideas and helpful suggestions listed in these two Unschooling Guides:  Not Back to School and Brainstorming Time!


2. Help the kids find fun things to do.

Don’t just come in and ask, “What do you want to learn today?” They might know, but probably they don’t.
You’re the one with the life experience and research skills. If you’ll spend your time observing first, talking with them, instead of trying to direct it all, then you’ll see little glimmers of what would you could suggest or “Strew” into their path. 


This ALL About Me PDF helps you see where your child is. It gives them the chance to see that you care - not about how well they’re performing in certain tasks or achievements, but in who they are and what they like. Big difference. Lots of changes may have happened with them, between this year and last year. This tool will help you notice!


All About Me
​ Free PDF

Download this tool to stay connected with your kids!

    Downloading this Free PDF subscribes you to our Unschooling Updates emails, full of helpful information for parents on this unschooling journey. We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.

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    3. Create Your Own Learning Plan

    Most home educators are busy creating learning plans for their kids.
    (Funny how we always want to make plans for OTHER people, when we might need to focus on ourselves a little more!)

    Unschooling is going to mean re-evaluating a lot about what we think we know about learning and parenting. For most of us, the mainstream approach to schools and to children is deeply embedded in a lot of our decisions. To successfully unschool, you'll want to set some time aside to focus on a few things:

    1. Learning more about unschooling and deschooling
    2. Getting the support you need to continue with this unconventional choice
    3. Connecting with the kids
    4. Making time for self-care


    This website is FULL of information that can help you! For the DIY types, you've hit the jackpot!

    If you're needing some reassurance or help setting up a plan, I have options for you too. Self-discipline may not be your strong suit when you're in the thick of all these changes. Having a supportive community - or your own personal Unschooling Coach may be what you need.


    More about the Membership

    Sign me up!

    More about Private Coaching

    Talk with Sue
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